Monday, February 12, 2007

Cheap, Fun And Possibly Dangerous Entertainment


Winter has arrived and you’re at home with a few of your buddies – you pool all your money together and find you only have $1.02. You want to do something but that just isn’t enough money to pay for your standard entertainment items. So what can you do…

Sledageddon!

Some of the older people here may remember a game called Carmageddon. For those that don’t it was a game where you had a souped up killer car and the goal was smashing your opponent's car to a pulp while taking out as many pedestrians as possible.

Well we took that to a level that the game designers had never intended - we turned it into a real game. The requirements for this game are simple. All you need is snow, a steep, long hill and various types of sleds including krazy karpets, GTs, toboggans and anything else that slides downhill quickly.

The game is very simple to play. You all start at the top of the hill and you all push off at the same time, side by side. The goal is to knock the other person off their sled through any means possible. The secondary objective is to hit the people who have fallen off their sled as you go down the hill. The third objective is to try to make the jump on the way down. Any battle scars received during the game always deserve special mention. The game is not over until everyone receives at least one injury. If a player seems to be avoiding injuries, he should become the prime target.

If a game ending injury occurs, the game must be stopped and the players must head home. A game ending injury is any injury which causes a player to be unable to play. To ensure people do not fake such an injury, players are allowed to test the injury by hitting it.

This is not a Co-Ed game – only should be guys vs. guys or girls vs. girls. Co-Ed causes the guys to hold back on the pain giving, while the girls do not, thus decreasing the fun of the overall game for the guys, while making the girls look too good.

Some tactics we have devised during the course of our games are as follows:

After you push off, slow yourself down and allow your opponents to get ahead of you. One is sure to be tackled off on the way down; at that point head down the hill at full speed towards them….


If you’re on a GT, use your steering ability to sideswipe anyone on a krazy karpet. They are an easy target, but do NOT let them get behind you!!!

If you are on a krazy karpet, slide in behind a GT and grab onto the back of it. Lift it up and twist it to the side. The ski should catch into the snow and cause a nice flip.

If you’re on a GT, and another player has a GT as well, keep an eye out for him. Often the fellow GTer will view you as the primary threat and come after you. Your best bet is to try to crash into him before you gain too much speed. This first strike will minimize the threat of the attack and allow you to direct your GT and the opponents GT’s into one of the krazy karpeters for maximum devastation. Warning: This may cause game ending injuries.

GTers have a high center of gravity. They are easy to tip, especially if they hit the jump or deep snow sideways. Keep this in mind if you ever find yourself in battle with a GT.

If you fall off your sled, beware of the GT. Their front steering ski is quite damaging.

Krazy karpeters often will avoid the jump as if they hit it they will be forced to land on their feet (or sustain painful back injuries) making them a non-moving and very vulnerable target. Keeping this in mind, try to force them into using the jump as this sets up anyone behind you to take them down.

Create secret war pacts while waiting for the slowpoke to climb back up the hill. Discuss plans to all hold back 1 second on the way down the hill to allow the slowpoke to get ahead slightly. Then have everyone target him for a massive sled pileup. This will not work against anyone with a fast sled, so be sure to choose your targets wisely.

If you’re a chicken and want to avoid pain at all costs, find the fastest sled you can and take the jump. Most people never make it to the jump as they are flipped halfway to it. The remaining people will have lost a lot of momentum in the fight and won’t make it over the jump. If you hit it at top speed, you’ll be quite a ways away and too far for anyone to reach you.

If you see a chicken taking this tactic too often there is a way to extract revenge. Since he is so far down the hill he will always be the last one up the hill. So you all line up and wait until he is only 10 feet away and you all head off down the hill at top speed in his general direction. The results are quite satisfying.



A dirty trick you can use if you're getting owned pretty bad is to shove snow down someone’s back on the way down. This sudden shocking cold temporary stuns them and allows you to get the upper hand. You could also throw snow in their face, although that’s a bit harsh any should only be reserved to the most evil of the bunch.

It’s a great feeling smashing into someone on a sled. It’s what you always wanted to do at school during recess that the teachers wouldn’t allow. So this is your chance. If you have a hill, sleds and friends – you are all set to have some great fun.

Safety:

After many injuries we have learned quite a few safety techniques which will allow you to introduce maximum pain with minimal injury.

If you are thrown off your sled and continue to slide down the hill not allowing you to get up, try to face your head away from the top of the hill. This ensures if anyone hits you, you can use your feet to cushion the impact while inflicting damage on the incoming attacker.

After you have finished sliding down the hill, if you have not yet been hit, get up quickly and run away as fast as you can. Watch for any incoming GT’s as they are able to steer their sled right into you. If you find that you cannot escape the GT, a good tactic is to try to do a barrel role over their head. This minimizes damage to you while possible taking out their head at the same time. If you are feeling a bit braver you can tackle them head on as well.

Ensure no one else is using the hill when you start this game. Taking out a 9 year old accidentally with a GT while their parents watch on in horror has a very bad ending.

Wear lots of layers of clothing. It acts as body armor and lessons the impact. This also keeps you warm. Cold is your enemy – it slows your muscles down, and affects your ability to concentrate on the game. Lots of layers also will keep people from shoving snow down your back during an attack.

Icy hills increase speed which increases the injuries which increases the fun. The unfortunate side effect of this is the game usually does not last as long due to game ending injuries.

Scout out the area before you play. Ensure any sticks, poles, or other such dangerous items are nowhere NEAR you. The paths in this game are not strait downhill. It’s amazing where you will end up after the end of the round. Metal poles and a skull just do not mix well and will result in game ending injuries.

Ensure the jump is no higher than 3 feet. Higher jumps will result in serious injuries that should not be considered entertaining (although they usually are).

2 comments:

vile323 said...

what the heck. punch just to make sure he isn't faking it? if his head is totally twisted around and his arm is starting to bend the wrong way don't you think that might be a hint that is isn't faked and therefore stop the game? anyway looks pretty fun.

Andrew said...

If your going to use my editorials in your blog at least give me the credit.

Thanks.

-Virellek (The guy who wrote this entire article)